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| You know...life is...and that's it until something happens that you don't want to happen but it does anyway. I just found out that one of my so called friends has been doing drugs, namely pot. This person is going to get something they are going to regret. Plus, this person think that they are all that when sometimes they are not, is very bitchy and pissing me off. However, what happens to them next, haha, they can deal with it themselves. 
On the otherhand, I am almost there in enjoying life. I am learning how to relax in certain cases because the other day i had the worst panic attack in which i thought i was being suffocated. I am also trying to not get overly anxious and angry and other things.
I want things to go back to normal but it is unable to occur at this time. I am planning to get it fixed up the certain thing(s) that i might have screwed up. I miss certain things the way they used to be but nothing is going to be the same. I miss so much and it hurts a lot.  I have to learn to live the consequences of life. Losing so much is full of crap. I hate it. I want it to stop. But it can't. I have messed up so many times that i have to feel like this for a very long time.
I think i am still in love with this person. However, i am not completely 100% sure. I took all this time to myself and I have realized that I needed to do things with me life. Anyways, I am sorry to the person even if they don't ever forgive me for what i have done.
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| I hate this....nobody gets it....this sucks....
Everybody well mostly a lot of people are assholes.
I wish I can turn back time and fix everything.
I hate my life the way it is now.
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| Today was fun...sorta. I went to my cuz's football game and of course...they won! Good job cuz! Anywho...I am trying to make plans for tonight and I am hoping that I can go and hang out with Clare and maybe Dan. But you never know....it always changes. | | |
| So far this year has been ok. But there are some things aren't. It is hard to describe how I am feeling right now. I have all of these emotions inside of me and I need them gone. There is a reason. There is either something or someone missing or I need something or someone gone.
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| Well, it has been quite awhile since I have written a xanga. Now I am in my senior year of high school. It's going great so far because I have the last two periods of the day free, which means I get to go home early. In other news, I still don't have a job. I know, it is embarressing. I miss a lot of people that I have met over the summer.
This weeked is Calie's party. YAY! I am going, I do hope so very much. Plus, I hope there won't be any drama going on at that party unlike last time.
Anyways, the Buick is getting its brakes fixed soooooo I will be able to drive to school tomorrow. I will not have to get anymore rides from any other people.
Anyways, nothing else is new.
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